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Tan Lines (2005) HD online

Tan Lines (2005) HD online
Language: English
Category: Movie / Drama / Romance
Original Title: Tan Lines
Director: Johnny Williams
Writers: Johnny Williams
Released: 2005
Budget: £20,000
Duration: 1h 23min
Video type: Movie
After the demise of their father, three sisters decide to take a driving holiday to the South of France. They all have different Mothers and this is an opportunity for them keep and improve their family bond. They pick up a hitch-hiker along the way who becomes a catalyst for their relationship.
Credited cast:
Andrew Southern Andrew Southern - Jamie
David Savile David Savile - Geoff
Antonina Lewis Antonina Lewis - Esther
Frida Farrell Frida Farrell - Julia
Siri Ingul Siri Ingul - Christina
Leontine Hass Leontine Hass - Barmaid
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Nigel Chisholm Nigel Chisholm - Jez Laver

Reviews: [3]

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    Well-written, well-acted, thoughtful movie that's also quite pleasant to watch. Beautiful scenes of the 4 young people (3 sisters and their male friend) camping in France on the countryside and on the beach. The dynamics between the sisters were realistic and interesting. I liked the way the movie captured how tough it can be to have a happy family vacation when the ups and downs of real life keeps intruding. The use of languages and accents was also quite well done. The ending made one think "I wish these people had Facebook," but maybe this move was pre-Facebook? Anyhow, I was truly surprised that the movie was not rated more highly on Netflix or on IMDb. How often do you find a movie without violence, without stupid plot twists, with good acting, and beautiful scenery? Not often enough.
  • avatar


    the three half sisters w/ different mothers same father threw me off. I wish they had been much clearer about that in the beginning. Smart movie though. I recommend reading my review to understand my one major problem and then going out and watching this movie. Also as an American I didn't pick up which country they were in at the beginning. A shot of a welcome to France sign would have helped in my opinion.
  • avatar

    Phallozs Dwarfs

    This film was so will-sappingly wearisome that it made me want to take a large butcher knife and shove it up through the bottom of my mouth, into my brain and out the top of my head. I spent the last hour of it forcing myself to keep watching while praying to Shiva, Zoroaster, Buddha or any other cosmic entity to make the pain stop.

    Tan Lines is one of those film festival entries made by an aspiring filmmaker that thanks to the thrice-damned nature of the DVD market now gets puked up onto video store shelves across the country, where it sinisterly waits for some poor, unsuspecting shmuck to rent it. I am one of those schmucks. These type of movies were never really meant to be seen by anyone except film festival judges and, as such, it never even attempts to be entertaining in basic ways. The goal of these films is to be weird, pretentious or dull enough that some festival judge somewhere mistakes it for art and gives it an award, which the filmmaker can then list on their resume when they try to get a job on a real movie. The weird or pretentious festival entries can sometimes be enjoyable crap. Tan Lines is one of the dull ones, where only invalids and movie reviewers ever watch the whole thing.

    The story concerns an Australian carpenter named Jaime (Andrew Southern) and three sisters named Esther, Julia and Christina (Antonina Lewis, Frida Show and Siri Ingul) who run into each other while taking bohemian vacations in France. Esther likes Jaime but he hooks up with Julia and the rest of the story is everyone alternately moping and bitching about how that was a mistake and Esther and Jaime should have gotten together. Along with Jaime having a one night stand with a barmaid who happens to be prettier than any of the sisters, and him pointlessly hitching a ride through the French countryside with an old guy named Geoff, that's the whole film. If you can imagine watching that happen while slowly freezing to death in a meat locker, you've got a good idea of what Tan Lines is like.

    I am not exaggerating when I say you could get rid of about the 1st 20 minutes of this movie, from the opening credits that look like they were created by some high school kid with a Commodore 64 to where Jaime meets the sisters, and it wouldn't make a bit of difference to the story. None of the acting rises above bad dinner theater. None of the writing surpasses the entertainment value of the list of ingredients for cough syrup. None of the images in this film look better than the home movies shot by some Brooklyn Jewish couple of their big trip to Atlantic City in 1965.

    Films like Tan Lines are the reason God invented fast forward. If you ever by some horrible accident rent this movie, after the first 10 minutes please use the fast forward button to see if anything in it looks good. It won't, so you can stop the DVD and go read a book or clip your toenails or something.